Kevin Youkilis in entrenched in Boston. He’s set to marry Brady’s sister, he parties up there, and he’s made it his city. Limeys almost forget he’s Jewish. He’s the symbol of what went right during the Theo years, and he’s a victim of what went horribly wrong soon after.
Youk was the ultimate Moneyball guy, and if Billy Beane ever tells you the playoffs are a crapshoot, feel free to slap him with a wad of $100 bills with Youk’s face. Theo and Henry executed Moneyball perfectly, with a leash from old school mook Larry Lucchino.
I still contend that, despite his age, he would have been a good hitter had two of these things happened: Big Papi’s bat dies, or Adrian Gonzalez stays in San Diego one more year.
Even in hindsight, Theo did the right thing by trading for Gonzo before allowing him to hit free agency. The going rate for slugging first basemen goes above Gonzo’s now decent looking extension at $154 million. Yeah, I’d take that over the Princely Sum, and if you’re a Red Sox fan, so should you.
I’ve also always contended that Boston should have signed Adrian Beltre to compliment Gonzo, and then stick Youk at left, where he would do less damage to his dignity, body, and the Red Sox pitchers, somewhat in that order.
But Carl Crawford happened, and David Ortiz’s decline didn’t. Youk’s bat was comparable to Mark Teixeira, pre-switch, so it made sense to keep his bat in the lineup, no matter the long-term ramifications of putting more unnecessary punishment on his Doughy frame. Now he’s been reduced to an accused clubhouse tattletale and Jacoby Ellsbury’s Least Favorite Friend. A bad break is inevitable given the circumstances, and there’s nothing dignifying about being replaced by a 23-year-old stud infield prospect who hit a grand slam, something Youk can only dream of in his GIDP days.
But Youk can thrive for a few more years, given the perfect situation. He’s a change of scenery guy. Regardless of return, here’s where he makes sense:
San Francisco Giants
Aubrey Huff’s anxious, but it’s time to let that relationship end and let Brandon Belt’s era begin. San Francisco also just lost Pablo Sandoval. Youk can get at bats at left, third and first, patterned after who’s pitching and where the ball is likely to not go. Belt can play first or left with little damage, though I wouldn’t blame Bruce Bochy for entrenching him in first, where he belongs and will thrive.
San Diego Padres
No pressure, Boston can offer Youk a paid vacation and re-establish his value as a … what exactly? On base machine and line-drive provocateur, all while on scenic San Diego, where no one’s watching!
No pressure, Youk gets a paid leave of sorts to re-heal himself and possibly go out as a Jason-Giambi type pinch-hitting machine.
Arizona Diamondbacks
He can play first base all day every day.
Philadelphia Phillies
There’s really nothing in it for the Phillies because Ty Wigginton is statistically comparable to Youk now. He’s even better because he’s healthy, and can actually stay in one piece after playing third.
If Youk can stay focused on hitting however, he is obviously a better hitter than Wigginton. There is that slight upside of success, and at the very least, he’s a better bet to get on base.
Of course, Boston GM Ben Cherington could jerk Youk around in the Henry-Red Sox tradition by sending him to Oakland.
Reunited with good unfriend Manny Ramirez, in a park where hitters like him go to die, cheered by no fans but the free range cockroaches O.Co’s famous for, and shitty hot dogs.
Boston gets Grant Balfour. See, that makes baseball sense. But given the modest ‘pen upgrade, I’d rather see Youk go out with a first class ticket, not a first ass ticket to shitsville, Calif.