Before last night’s Angels-Yankees game, my buddy Jose (manager/owner of Trumboners) gave me a pack of baseball cards from a box of 1989 Donruss cards he bought at Fan Day. He then offered the best quote of the night: “I’m not gonna open these til I’m 80 or something, when I’m bored and waiting for death.”
Well, I opened my pack. Fuck waiting.
And what a Gold Mine T’was.
1) P Tom Henke, Toronto Blue Jays — Penni was there in spirit.
2) P Bruce Sutter, Atlanta Braves — This was the part where Sutter was disgracing himself, to borrow a term applied by Eric (manager of Upper Deckers) to RP Trevor Hoffman post Padres. Hall of famer in his down years? Fuck yeah.
3) C,1B,2B,3B,BALLBOY, OF Rex Hudler, Montreal Expos — Come on. Wonder Dog, the original Figgy, the Template of the Super Utility (OK, that’s a stretch for Hud), the Bong smoking homer. An Angels legend.
4) 1B Dave Magadan, New York Mets — Fucker played 10 games for the 1986 Mets, so he got that ring to go with his 2007 ring as a hitting coach for the Boston Red Sox. What comes around, goes around.
5) OF Oddibe McDowell, Texas Rangers — His name, along with Cincinnati, taught me how to read words, names, etc … c.a.r.e.f.u.l.l.y. McDowell is the classic hyped prospect who never amounted to anything past being a minor league legend. Oh, he led the Texas Rangers in stolen bases. He was quite the runner. Too bad he chose a sport that required him to swing a bat.
6) OF Gary Pettis, Detroit Tigers — A former Angels speedster most famous for a stunt he pulled with another card company, having his little brother pose as him in his rookie card. Like McDowell, Pettis could run. Like McDowell, Pettis couldn’t hit. Hey Peter Bourjos, there’s hope for you yet.
I love baseball, and I love wicked useless baseball cards. Amen.